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Love is a very powerful word and concept in English.Telling someone “I love you” in such a manner as kokuhaku is consequently very serious.I don’t just mean sex, but kissing and I think even hand holding. Attempting a kiss can make a Japanese person think you are only interested in sex or a physical relationship and not a serious or romantic relationship. For example, often a Westerner will want to kiss someone they are seeing and the Easterner doesn’t want to be kissed yet.The Westerner will think the Easterner isn’t interested in a relationship with him/her.I would love more input from the experiences of others.
The use of kokuhaku is also a bit of a culture shock for Westerners.
If you can, you may break off from the group as to only talk with each other. After several outings like this, say five or six, you may ask to do something just the two of you. After spending time together outside of the group for a while, also probably five or six times, one person will confess their love for the other.
This is called “kokuhaku,” and is in most cases done by the man.
This isn’t a hard and fast rule, but more of a rule of thumb.
Being in a group diffuses the pressure and allows each party to take stock of the company the other keeps.
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Everything before that is considered getting to know each other in a friendly manner.