Zooey deschanel dating anyone

And even though sex with me never concluded with an elaborate '80s musical number, it was good enough that it could have, had the right vocal arrangement been available; and I'm confident that neither of us would have chosen anything by The Smiths.After three years of dating this person — who probably couldn't tell the difference between Zooey Deschanel and Katy Perry without his glasses — I can honestly say that I no longer feel threatened by Zooey Deschanel and her ilk.

So I modeled myself after an MPDG by doing the kind of weird, inexplicable shit that I saw make Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Paul Dano go jelly-kneed.But of course, these reasons were all secondary to why I really hated Zooey Deschanel: the nebbishy, bookish dudes I dated had no compunction about advertising how much they wanted to fuck her.Although I don't usually get jealous over my partners' crushes, it offended me that they thought their attraction to Zooey Deschanel was somehow higher-minded than wanting to fuck someone like Megan Fox, or Lindsay Lohan.Zooey Deschanel has come to represent the quintessential MPDG.As such, she is a menace to society, responsible for the unrealistic relationship expectations of twenty-something men and women alike.

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